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A slight modification to a David Letterman Top 10 list - with Republican replaces the word "amnesia" as originally stated plus some other 'minor changes'.

Top Ten Best Things About Being a Republican
10. Convenient excuse for not showing up for work.
9. No dilemma over whether you've seen the sane thing (rental movie - originally) before.
8. Perfect pre-qualification for becoming President (it actually said that!).
7. Every new can of scandal (Beanie-Weenies - original) is just (as exciting - originally) as the last one.
6. Even after it happens 50 times (after 50 years of marriage - original), every scandal (night - original) is like a one-night-stand.
5. Newt Gingrich becomes less irritating (it really said that!).
4. Can use (wear - original) the same excuse (clothes - original) every day and never feel embarrassed.
3. Chris Christie (Joey Buttafouco - original yet so similar)
2. Did I lie? Wasn't that fake news? (Accordion music? What accordion music?).
1. This list will be just as hilarious as the first time you read it (it really said that) - because Republicans don't remember themselves.
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